Mommy and the Christus



Hello friends... or whoever is reading my blog.

Funny story. Usually when I am done with a blog entry I post it to Facebook and then send the link to my husband. He usually responds with something like this, "Hey that was a great post. But I think you meant 'lose' not 'loose'." And then I go ugg... you're right... oh well, I don't care THAT much. 

And that's what it's like living with an english major. Haha. No bitter feelings, really. It's actually quite helpful. One of my favorite things is saying a word that he doesn't know! AND in the correct context. It's pretty exciting.

Well, that was completely off topic for what I wanted to discuss today, but I think my husband is grrrreat! And I was thinking about him. And this is my blog and I can do whatever I want. So there.

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My baby is almost 7 months old now. The first couple months seemed to last forever (and I suppose anyone who is sleep deprived feels this way), but the last three or four months have FLOWN by! She's just starting to crawl. Actually, she CAN crawl. I've seen her do it when she wants a toy badly enough. I bet if she was around another baby who was already crawling she would crawl more.

So the other day she was sitting on her bum, which is her favorite way to be on the floor, and she was getting upset and clearly wanted me to pick her up. Instead of just giving her what she wanted I made her work for it (as I assume any good parent does). 

I reached my arms out to her, beckoning her to come to me. In that moment I saw the Christus in my mind: Jesus Christ with his arms stretched out saying, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." 

(Matt 11:28-30)

In essence, as I reached out to her, I was saying all of these things to my sweet baby. She was tired and needed physical and emotional rest. If she is yoked with me her burden WILL be light because I am bigger, stronger, more emotionally stable, and know more than her.

As a mother I keep having experiences like these that humble me and make me realize how I am a little baby in God's eyes. I need Him like my baby needs me. He is bigger, stronger, more emotionally stable, and knows a whole lot more than me. I am grateful to be a mother. I feel like God is confirming eternal truths to me that I previously knew in my mind, but now know in my heart. 

Happy... what day is it again?

Teething Purgatory

Some moms have a really hard time with breast feeding, others struggle with their kiddo's not sleeping well through the night. The bane of my existence came when baby girl started teething. And when I say "bane of my existence," it may sound all cute and euphemistic, but it has been a real nightmare. 

She was sleeping okay through the night up until the teething came. Now one of two things happens: 

• It literally takes 3 hours of her screaming and us trying not to loose our marbles for her to finally get to sleep, or
•  She goes to sleep just fine, but then she wakes up 3 times in the night, and the third time she just doesn't go back to sleep after 4 am... Yeah, not very nice.

                                                            

I called my Mom for encouragement today and here are a few things she said.

1. Babies change so much all the time. If you're in survival mode right now, that's OKAY. This stage is not going to last forever. That makes me feel better. I am in survival mode, and it's nice to know that it's an acceptable place to be for the moment.

2. "The reward for being a grandparent is not killing your children." She said she wanted to kill all of her kids at one time or another (except for me, of course ;). This makes me feel slightly better, knowing that I'm not alone in sometimes feeling so frustrated and DONE with my crazy baby.

3. Prayer always helps. When you're at the end of your rope God will help. This actually happened last night. It was a take-3-hours-to-put-baby-to-sleep kind of night, and when I finally laid her in her crib at 12:30 am I prayed very sincerely that God would let me have a good night's sleep. Baby girl didn't wake up until 8:30. I know it was an answer to my prayers. 

Sometimes when I pray for a good night's sleep (and this is the sincere kind, not just a repetitious night time prayer) God says no. But I don't get mad at Him. He knows best. I need to develop patience and endurance, and that is only achieved by being stretched to my limits, and even a little beyond. 

I need to remember that there are seasons of life. Just as the weather changes from Summer, to Fall, to Winter, to Spring, my life will change from childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, to changing diapers and dealing with a teething baby, to sending her off to school, to watching my grand babies grow up. This season of life is wonderful and terrible, as is every other season in life. I need to appreciate the good and deal with the bad. 

As Elder Worthlin said, "Come what may, and love it!"

  Relief Society Service Auction

                            

We had a RS Service Auction as one of our activities last night. I can not express How. Much. FUN. it was!!!! Seriously.

Here are the great things about having a service auction:

1. You get to meet new people and get to know each other better.
2. You get to serve each other at the activity and outside of the activity.
3. You get to see what talents other people have, and share your talents.
4. You get to laugh so hard while all of you fight over who gets those salted caramel rice crispy treats. 

Seriously so fun.

We accumulated points to spend by filling out two questionnaires which I made. Here's the first one:

RS Service Auction Questionnaire (205 points possible)    NAME: ______________________

5 pts If you have ever been outside of the country

5 pts If you speak a second language (sign-language included)

5 pts If you have taken a meal to someone in need in the past 6 months

5 pts If you have read the lesson prior to Sunday in the last 2 months

5 pts If you have balanced your checkbook in the past month

5 pts If you have had a new person from your area to your home for dinner in the past year

5 pts If you have organized your recipe file in the past year

5 pts If you have exercised this past month

5 pts If you have had your daily personal prayers for the past 3 months

5 pts If you have been 10 minutes early to church this past month

5 pts If you have learned a new skill in the past month

5 pts If you have cleaned a closet in the past month

5 pts If you have written a letter to a missionary in the past 3 months

5 pts If you have a monthly budget and followed it for the past 3 months

5 pts If you have given a talk in church in the past year

5 pts If you have cleaned something that didn’t want to in the past week

5 pts If you fasted on the last fast Sunday

5 pts If you have introduced yourself to a new member in the ward in the past month

5 pts If you can recite an article of faith from memory

5 pts If you know how to change a tire

5 pts If you know CPR and/or the Heimlich maneuver

5 pts If you have read out of the Bible in the past month

5 pts If you voted in the last election

5 pts If you went to bed on time last night

5 pts If you have been to the Dentist in the past 6 months

5 pts If you attended or helped with young women’s camp this year

5 pts If you kept your TV off all day today

5 pts If you gave someone a sincere compliment in the past week

5 pts If you have done something you are proud of in the past month

5 pts If you have been on a date in the past 3 weeks (husband/boyfriend/acquaintance)

5 pts If you made your bed today

5 pts If you have made a comment in a church class in the past month

5 pts If you have laughed today

5 pts If you have accepted someone’s help this past month

5 pts If you wear your seat belt

5 pts If you showered before noon today

5 pts If you have sung a church song in your home in the past month

5 pts If you keep a journal, either written or digital (blogging counts)

5 pts If you have introduced yourself to the person next to you

5 pts If you know at least one of your next door neighbors

5 pts If you have served a mission

____________  Total Points

The first one is more of a "If you did ___ then give yourself some points for being cool."

The second one is more interactive. This is a "Go find someone in the room who has ___." Last night was pretty cool because we had a little over 20 women come to the activity, and on this questionnaire there are 22 questions, so most of the women talked to EVERY sister there! How cool is that?!

“Find Someone Who” Questions -      NAME: ____________________________

You must find a different person that matches each question (10 pts each, 220 possible pts)  

1. ____________________________ has the same birthday month as you.

2. ____________________________ has the same favorite color as you.

3. ____________________________ grew up in the same state as you.

4. ____________________________ has the same shoe size as you.

5. ____________________________ loves dogs more than cats.

6. ____________________________ loves cats more than dogs.

7. ____________________________ wears reading glasses.

8. ____________________________ plays a musical instrument.

9. ____________________________ loves doing the dishes.

10. ___________________________ loves being crafty.

11. ___________________________ likes to dance.

12. ___________________________ is originally from a different country.

13. ___________________________ has pioneer ancestry.

14. ___________________________ is a convert.

15. ___________________________ can touch their tongue to their nose.

16. ___________________________ is (or would like to be) an entrepreneur.  

17. ___________________________ has an etsy shop.

18. ___________________________ has more than 5 siblings.

19. ___________________________ is an only child.

20. ___________________________ likes watching football.

21. ___________________________ still has a VCR.

22. ___________________________ has a blog.

Total Points: ________________ 

In creating these questionnaires I was very aware of our ward's demographics. There are a lot of mom's, and a lot of single sisters. I didn't want to leave anyone out, so I didn't put questions on there like "If you fed your kids dinner last night give yourself some points..."

After everyone filled out the papers, and before we started the actual auction, I gave a spiritual thought at the beginning by reading a quote by Bonnie L. Oscarson (the talk is Oh How We Need Each Other): 

The fact of the matter is, we really and truly need each other. Women naturally seek friendship, support, and companionship. We have so much to learn from one another, and we often let self-imposed barriers keep us from enjoying associations which could be among the greatest blessings in our lives.

This quote was so great! I also said that there are a lot of sisters in our ward and neighborhoods who are NOT here tonight, and they probably need service more than we do. I challenged them to leave that night and think about the people around them they could serve, even if it's just by becoming a true friend with them (which doesn't feel like service when it's sincere!......FYI). 

The thought didn't take long, but I felt the Spirit, and the message was appropriate for our setting.

I had one of the men in our ward come and be our auctioneer so the sisters planning the evening (including myself) could participate in the auction. He was animated and funny. It was perfect. 

The one thing I would change is bringing little gifts, either for everyone or just the sisters who came late and didn't accumulate any points to spend. I really hope no one felt left out, but if I do it again (or if you do one) please remember this.

I'm pretty sure this could turn into an annual RS activity. It was THAT great.

 

The Joy of Doing Nothing


Here's a very honest post from yours truly.

So... being a new mother is weird. I spend so much time on the couch feeding my baby, and holding a sleepy baby that it's like, what else do I do? So I pull out my phone and check Facebook and Pinterest. And then I realize, hey I've been on Pinterest for two hours. Ugh.

I don't think this problem is exclusive to me or other moms though. Anyone can spend all their time glued to their phone. 

Lately (meaning the last few days) I have been allowing myself to not "do" anything (at least while I'm holding my baby girl). I sit and let my brain wander and think for itself rather than let FB or Pinterest think for me. It's been pretty cool. You wanna know what you think about when you don't have to think about anything? Then don't do anything. Be still and let your mind go.

I remember several years ago at Christmas time my brother and his wife were visiting. They are pretty darn amazing, just FYI. I wanted to make a holly leaf for some project, and I decided to look pictures up on the internet to see what holly leafs looked like. My brother said NO! Don't look up pictures, make it up yourself. Did I mention that he's an artist? That little lesson has stuck with me. --Let my creative brain create something for itself, instead of copying something that's already been done." 

I thought about this lesson today as I envisioned cute Christmas pictures we could take this year. What did I do? I went on Pinterest and didn't find what I was looking for. Silly me, I should just plan it out in my mind and then execute it. No Pinterest required.

With so many distractions I can and will not be able to hear the still small voice of the Spirit unless I unplug frequently. Probably every day. Definitely every day. Here's part of a talk that Elder Packer gave in 1979!! entitled "Prayers and Answers":

Many years ago John Burroughs, a naturalist, one summer evening was walking through a crowded park. Above the sounds of city life he heard the song of a bird.

He stopped and listened! Those with him had not heard it. He looked around. No one else had noticed it.

It bothered him that everyone should miss something so beautiful.

He took a coin from his pocket and flipped it into the air. It struck the pavement with a ring, no louder than the song of the bird. Everyone turned; they could hear that!

It is difficult to separate from all the sounds of city traffic the song of a bird. But you can hear it. You can hear it plainly if you train yourself to listen for it.

It is difficult to separate from the confusion of life that quiet voice of inspiration. Unless you attune yourself, you will miss it.

Answers to prayers come in a quiet way. The scriptures describe that voice of inspiration as a still, small voice.

If you really try, you can learn to respond to that voice.

Gosh I love General Conference. 


          


When I say "do nothing" of course I don't really mean it. I mean having a still mind. Being reverent and able to be spiritually sensitive. That's not nothing! That's quite a lot of something, if you ask me. If we are always doing thing with our brains, such as:

wake up - check FB
get ready & go to work - work all day
OR stay home with baby and check Pinterest 20 times
drive home/wash dishes - listen to audible
come home - watch TV while you eat dinner
put baby to sleep - watch a movie or sit on the couch with your spouse while each of you play whatever stupid games you are addicted to on your phone
right before bed - read 10 verses of scriptures and pray as you fall asleep

Ouch. This kind of hurts my heart because of how familiar it sounds. 
If I- and we- keep doing this how do we expect the Spirit to EVER speak to us or influence us? Or perhaps the Spirit is speaking to us, but how can we listen and understand when we don't give it the time of day?

Okay, while I'm on this topic, I mentioned being reverent earlier. I've seen several pins on Pinterest about how to cutely teach your children about how to be reverent. They're all pretty much the same:

Your mouth is closed and quiet
Your arms are folded, or whatever
Your feet are still
Your eyes are attentive on the speaker or closed for prayers
blah blah blah

I'm sorry I don't mean blah blah blah. These things really are good and important. BUT What about our minds? I think to be truly reverent the most important attribute to have is a still mind. You can look like the most reverent kid in church and be SO NOT reverent. 

I'm not trying to preach. Okay, maybe I am, But not just to you, to me too. I need to be better. I need to be still. I need to unplug more often. Because I want to be spiritually sensitive. And creative. And more present for when my daughter grows older and realizes that I'm not paying attention to her. And more productive. And healthier. 

Grateful for the Rain

Last night we had Family Home Evening. Yay for us!! We've been trying to make it more of a priority, even if we just have a prayer, sing a hymn, and read part of a conference talk, which is precisely what we did last night.

We read from Elder Uchtdorf's talk entitled, "Grateful in any Circumstance." We read this section which touched both of us:

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?


                                      


This is such a good reminder to me to be grateful no matter what is happening in my life.

As I thought about this quote and about rain I thought of this:

Rain is awesome. It provides water necessary for plants to survive, and drinking water for us. It's also beautiful and fun to play in. BUT if you were outside in the storm with no shelter it would be miserable!! You would get wet and cold, and if you were outside long enough it could even be fatal.

Jesus Christ is our spiritual refuge from the storm. He is the one that makes it possible for us to be "grateful in any circumstance." 

It reminds me of this scripture in Helaman 5:12:

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

I have a testimony that Christ is my refuge from the storm. He makes it possible for me to smile when I feel like crying, because I have an eternal perspective that I would not otherwise have. I am grateful for President Uchtdorf's reminders, and I will try to be grateful more often.

Finding Meaning in Motherhood #1

A Spiritual Baby

It's crazy that Snuggle has only been with us for 5 months. I've learned a lot in 5 months, like how to change a diaper like a pro, how to breastfeed and use both hands to eat a pizza At The Same Time, that when I turn music on while my baby is screaming it will calm her down immediately, and that onesie dresses are the best baby dresses ever invented!

More than the practical things, though, are the glimpses I get into eternity from living every day life as a parent. I have gotten to know who God is much better, because He is our literal spiritual parent.

I'll start from the beginning.

When Snuggle Baby was a newborn she didn't know us yet, even though she was completely reliant on us for everything. We were with her constantly. I fed her, we changed her diaper, we bathed her, held her, sung to her, and took her to the doctor. Even though she got all of this attention she still didn't know us. All I could hope was that she felt loved and confident that her needs would be taken care of, and that some day she would recognize us and love us.

In our spiritual lives we all start out as babies, as utterly helpless and dependent as my precious daughter. God is there with us: feeding us, holding us, and protecting us from things that are completely beyond our comprehension. He knows that we don't know Him yet, but hopes that in time we will start to recognize His face and voice too (or, more appropriately, His spirit).

Our baby girl is 5 months old and she is a completely different baby now! She's gained a ton of weight, she smiles and giggles now, and is even scooting herself around on the floor. When we come to get her out of the crib in the morning she gives us a huge smile because, yes, she finally recognizes us and is happy to see us!

God wants us to grow spiritually. He wants us to trust Him and not stagnate (how horrible would that be for your baby to stop growing physically!! eek!)

This is only the beginning though. My baby is still a baby. She's learning and growing so much, but it is going to take years for her to grown into a toddler, then a child, then an adolescent, then a teenager, then a young adult, then an adult, then a middle aged adult, and then an elderly adult. At each stage we learn new things and get wiser.

If you are just a baby, spiritually speaking, there's nothing wrong with that. Allow God to take care of you and teach you. He will!

“I Have Given You An Example” 

Sacrament Meeting Talk 8/24/14

When I was in high school I had this really good friend named Matt. You could even say that we had been best friends. After a while we began to drift away from each other because of our separate interests. Matt eventually fell away from the church and that was pretty much the end of our relationship. I was hurt and didn’t know how to act around him any more. I invited him to a few young single adult activities, which he did not attend, and that was it. One time Matt’s mother told me that he was disappointed in me, and felt like I only wanted to be friends with him if he was an active member of the church. That pierced my heart, but honestly, by my actions it was true.

If this situation has happened to my husband, Joe (which it has), he wouldn’t have even thought twice about their decision affecting his friendship with them. He would have treated them completely normally like nothing had happened.

I am so grateful I married Joe and for his great example to me. If this situation with Matt happened today I would act very differently.

Elder Richard G Scott gave a talk in this last conference entitled “I have given you an example” (with quotes!). Usually titles are not in quotes, so I figured it came from a scripture, and I was right.  The verse is in John 13 and reads, “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”

Looking at this scripture in context Jesus had just washed his disciples feet. He also alluded to the fact that someone would betray him.

Now let’s think about that for a minute. Jesus knew that Judas Iscariot was going to betray him, eventually causing his death, and yet Jesus still washed Judas’ feet, just like everyone else’s.

Although Jesus had not yet performed the atonement, one spiritual gift is the gift of discernment, or the gift to see within people’s hearts. I am pretty sure Christ had this gift, allowing Him to discern why Judas did what he did. When you know why someone acts the way they do, you can’t hate them. In fact, it is much easier to love them, even if you disagree with their actions.

The example that Jesus gave that Elder Scott references is love.  Pure Christ-like love, or charity. To me charity means having a love for people that leads us to help them without expectation of repayment.

I think the reason Jesus gave us examples of how to live and act and think and then told us to follow his examples, is that a lot of his teachings and examples do not come naturally to us.

What did he teach?

Selflessness, Humility, Forgiveness, Faith, and Charity

I a lot of instances our natural reactions are selfish, prideful, unforgiving, doubting, and hateful or apathetic.

I will venture to say that all of the attributes Christ exhibited are motivated by love.

One of Jesus’ teachings is “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt 5:44)

Jesus Christ didn’t just preach about loving people. He practiced what he preached.

And we have examples, not only from the scriptures, but all around us in our personal lives.

I remember when I was a first level in Girl’s Camp we had an activity where the leaders washed our feet, like the Savior washed his disciple’s feet. For whatever reason they forgot me. My feet were the only ones unwashed. I was a little shy and embarrassed about the whole situation so I didn’t say anything. I was disappointed and felt left out, even though I knew it wasn’t deliberate. Even though this is a sad story it taught me a great lesson. I have been able to pray and know that God loves me and He will never forget me. Because I have felt God’s love for me consistently throughout my life I trust Him. I have called on God for help in the past and He has always answered my prayers. Sometimes not in the way I wanted or anticipated, but always for the best.

In Proverbs it tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

God taught me a very important lesson several years ago through a series of three or four experiences I had. I’ll share two of the experiences I had.

In this first experience I lived in the bay area and my sister, Autumn, was coming in to the SF airport. I needed to pick her up, and because I was still a relatively new driver that freaked me out a little. Plus I had never driven there before, so that freaked me out too. And lastly, the car’s turn signal lights I was driving sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t work, so that freaked me out too!  As I started driving in bumper to bumper traffic the turn signals were not working. I prayed to Heavenly Father and said, “I need you to make these turn signals to work NOW! They are vital for this heavy of traffic. Please help me.” To illustrate my trust in Him I flipped on the turn signal, and he answered my prayer by making it work. The story doesn’t end here though, the turn signal worked up until the moment I picked up my sister, and then, after I felt emotionally strong with her in the car with me, it stopped working all the way home.

My next story is when I was a laurel in young womens. I was in charge of new beginnings, but I was incredibly sick. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in high school and struggled with my health a lot at that time. On the night of the meeting people help set up while I was in another room throwing up. I couldn’t stop. About 5 minutes before the meeting started, of which I was conducting, my father gave me a priesthood blessing telling me that I would be okay. After the blessing I threw up one more time in the trash can beside me, walked up and conducted the meeting. I felt great! This isn’t the end of the story either. Later that night I got sick again, resulting in an Emergency Room visit.

After pondering and praying about these experiences the lesson was clear. Heavenly Father was saying, “I’m here for you. I love you. I will help you in your time of need, but when your time of need is over, your trial will continue.” And that’s okay.

I have felt God’s love for me and Joe so much through our marriage, even when I feel we don’t deserve it.  I know that when I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding I get the help that I need, and often the help I want too.

I have felt God’s love for me. I know that I am important to him. He loves me a lot! Knowing that He loves each of you as much as He loves me humbles me, and makes me love you more than I would on my own.

Here’s my last story for now:

When I was about 20 I became email buddies with one of the young women in my ward named Jessica. We would often write and share experiences we had with each other.

After a very hard and discouraging day at work I decided I needed to do something that cheered me up. I thought, “Hey, I’ll serve someone!” Although this was a selfish thought, I really did want to brighten someone else’s day. I got fresh flowers from the store and put them in a vase. I burned a CD and put Jessica’s name on the whole thing, then I doorbell ditched it.

She was also having a hard day and here is part of the email she sent me shortly after that.

I knelt at my bed and prayed. It was

the most strongest prayer I have ever prayed before. I asked the

Lord to help me and be with me. I asked him for comfort and his

love. Then a couple minutes later I came out of my room and was

going to join my family then there was a knock on my door. Out of

my dinning room window I saw someone running away. I was like

hmm this is wierd. Then I opened the door and there was a vase of

pink tullips and a cd case. I was like "Mom I think someone brought

you flowers." Then my sister was like "No, Jessica they are for you.

Look your name is right on it!" Then I looked and it was my name.

I took them to my room and I started to cry. It was not out of

sadness but it was just an overwhelming feeling that came over me.

I felt my heart lift up. I listen to the cd and there were beautiful

church songs on it!

   It totally changed my whole mood. I felt great! I felt closer to the

Lord than ever. I read my scriptures for A WHOLE HOUR WITHOUT

STOPPING ONCE! it was absolutely awesome. Before I went to bed I

prayed again, and thanked my Heavenly Father for comforting me.

I fell asleep fast and had a great night sleep. Whoever left those

flowers and cd for me, changed my whole outlook. I haven't had a

bad day since. I never had such a bad day in my life, then at the end

of the day when I turned to the Lord and prayed I was comforted.

I'm so thankful for that and I just had to share that with you :]

I share this story not to boast, but to illustrate how the Lord works through us. If we love the people around us and are in tune with the Spirit, miracles do happen.

I testify that God is real. He loves us, and when we really understand that, we can love others better and make a real difference in their lives.