Finding Meaning in Motherhood #1

A Spiritual Baby

It's crazy that Snuggle has only been with us for 5 months. I've learned a lot in 5 months, like how to change a diaper like a pro, how to breastfeed and use both hands to eat a pizza At The Same Time, that when I turn music on while my baby is screaming it will calm her down immediately, and that onesie dresses are the best baby dresses ever invented!

More than the practical things, though, are the glimpses I get into eternity from living every day life as a parent. I have gotten to know who God is much better, because He is our literal spiritual parent.

I'll start from the beginning.

When Snuggle Baby was a newborn she didn't know us yet, even though she was completely reliant on us for everything. We were with her constantly. I fed her, we changed her diaper, we bathed her, held her, sung to her, and took her to the doctor. Even though she got all of this attention she still didn't know us. All I could hope was that she felt loved and confident that her needs would be taken care of, and that some day she would recognize us and love us.

In our spiritual lives we all start out as babies, as utterly helpless and dependent as my precious daughter. God is there with us: feeding us, holding us, and protecting us from things that are completely beyond our comprehension. He knows that we don't know Him yet, but hopes that in time we will start to recognize His face and voice too (or, more appropriately, His spirit).

Our baby girl is 5 months old and she is a completely different baby now! She's gained a ton of weight, she smiles and giggles now, and is even scooting herself around on the floor. When we come to get her out of the crib in the morning she gives us a huge smile because, yes, she finally recognizes us and is happy to see us!

God wants us to grow spiritually. He wants us to trust Him and not stagnate (how horrible would that be for your baby to stop growing physically!! eek!)

This is only the beginning though. My baby is still a baby. She's learning and growing so much, but it is going to take years for her to grown into a toddler, then a child, then an adolescent, then a teenager, then a young adult, then an adult, then a middle aged adult, and then an elderly adult. At each stage we learn new things and get wiser.

If you are just a baby, spiritually speaking, there's nothing wrong with that. Allow God to take care of you and teach you. He will!

“I Have Given You An Example” 

Sacrament Meeting Talk 8/24/14

When I was in high school I had this really good friend named Matt. You could even say that we had been best friends. After a while we began to drift away from each other because of our separate interests. Matt eventually fell away from the church and that was pretty much the end of our relationship. I was hurt and didn’t know how to act around him any more. I invited him to a few young single adult activities, which he did not attend, and that was it. One time Matt’s mother told me that he was disappointed in me, and felt like I only wanted to be friends with him if he was an active member of the church. That pierced my heart, but honestly, by my actions it was true.

If this situation has happened to my husband, Joe (which it has), he wouldn’t have even thought twice about their decision affecting his friendship with them. He would have treated them completely normally like nothing had happened.

I am so grateful I married Joe and for his great example to me. If this situation with Matt happened today I would act very differently.

Elder Richard G Scott gave a talk in this last conference entitled “I have given you an example” (with quotes!). Usually titles are not in quotes, so I figured it came from a scripture, and I was right.  The verse is in John 13 and reads, “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”

Looking at this scripture in context Jesus had just washed his disciples feet. He also alluded to the fact that someone would betray him.

Now let’s think about that for a minute. Jesus knew that Judas Iscariot was going to betray him, eventually causing his death, and yet Jesus still washed Judas’ feet, just like everyone else’s.

Although Jesus had not yet performed the atonement, one spiritual gift is the gift of discernment, or the gift to see within people’s hearts. I am pretty sure Christ had this gift, allowing Him to discern why Judas did what he did. When you know why someone acts the way they do, you can’t hate them. In fact, it is much easier to love them, even if you disagree with their actions.

The example that Jesus gave that Elder Scott references is love.  Pure Christ-like love, or charity. To me charity means having a love for people that leads us to help them without expectation of repayment.

I think the reason Jesus gave us examples of how to live and act and think and then told us to follow his examples, is that a lot of his teachings and examples do not come naturally to us.

What did he teach?

Selflessness, Humility, Forgiveness, Faith, and Charity

I a lot of instances our natural reactions are selfish, prideful, unforgiving, doubting, and hateful or apathetic.

I will venture to say that all of the attributes Christ exhibited are motivated by love.

One of Jesus’ teachings is “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt 5:44)

Jesus Christ didn’t just preach about loving people. He practiced what he preached.

And we have examples, not only from the scriptures, but all around us in our personal lives.

I remember when I was a first level in Girl’s Camp we had an activity where the leaders washed our feet, like the Savior washed his disciple’s feet. For whatever reason they forgot me. My feet were the only ones unwashed. I was a little shy and embarrassed about the whole situation so I didn’t say anything. I was disappointed and felt left out, even though I knew it wasn’t deliberate. Even though this is a sad story it taught me a great lesson. I have been able to pray and know that God loves me and He will never forget me. Because I have felt God’s love for me consistently throughout my life I trust Him. I have called on God for help in the past and He has always answered my prayers. Sometimes not in the way I wanted or anticipated, but always for the best.

In Proverbs it tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

God taught me a very important lesson several years ago through a series of three or four experiences I had. I’ll share two of the experiences I had.

In this first experience I lived in the bay area and my sister, Autumn, was coming in to the SF airport. I needed to pick her up, and because I was still a relatively new driver that freaked me out a little. Plus I had never driven there before, so that freaked me out too. And lastly, the car’s turn signal lights I was driving sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t work, so that freaked me out too!  As I started driving in bumper to bumper traffic the turn signals were not working. I prayed to Heavenly Father and said, “I need you to make these turn signals to work NOW! They are vital for this heavy of traffic. Please help me.” To illustrate my trust in Him I flipped on the turn signal, and he answered my prayer by making it work. The story doesn’t end here though, the turn signal worked up until the moment I picked up my sister, and then, after I felt emotionally strong with her in the car with me, it stopped working all the way home.

My next story is when I was a laurel in young womens. I was in charge of new beginnings, but I was incredibly sick. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in high school and struggled with my health a lot at that time. On the night of the meeting people help set up while I was in another room throwing up. I couldn’t stop. About 5 minutes before the meeting started, of which I was conducting, my father gave me a priesthood blessing telling me that I would be okay. After the blessing I threw up one more time in the trash can beside me, walked up and conducted the meeting. I felt great! This isn’t the end of the story either. Later that night I got sick again, resulting in an Emergency Room visit.

After pondering and praying about these experiences the lesson was clear. Heavenly Father was saying, “I’m here for you. I love you. I will help you in your time of need, but when your time of need is over, your trial will continue.” And that’s okay.

I have felt God’s love for me and Joe so much through our marriage, even when I feel we don’t deserve it.  I know that when I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding I get the help that I need, and often the help I want too.

I have felt God’s love for me. I know that I am important to him. He loves me a lot! Knowing that He loves each of you as much as He loves me humbles me, and makes me love you more than I would on my own.

Here’s my last story for now:

When I was about 20 I became email buddies with one of the young women in my ward named Jessica. We would often write and share experiences we had with each other.

After a very hard and discouraging day at work I decided I needed to do something that cheered me up. I thought, “Hey, I’ll serve someone!” Although this was a selfish thought, I really did want to brighten someone else’s day. I got fresh flowers from the store and put them in a vase. I burned a CD and put Jessica’s name on the whole thing, then I doorbell ditched it.

She was also having a hard day and here is part of the email she sent me shortly after that.

I knelt at my bed and prayed. It was

the most strongest prayer I have ever prayed before. I asked the

Lord to help me and be with me. I asked him for comfort and his

love. Then a couple minutes later I came out of my room and was

going to join my family then there was a knock on my door. Out of

my dinning room window I saw someone running away. I was like

hmm this is wierd. Then I opened the door and there was a vase of

pink tullips and a cd case. I was like "Mom I think someone brought

you flowers." Then my sister was like "No, Jessica they are for you.

Look your name is right on it!" Then I looked and it was my name.

I took them to my room and I started to cry. It was not out of

sadness but it was just an overwhelming feeling that came over me.

I felt my heart lift up. I listen to the cd and there were beautiful

church songs on it!

   It totally changed my whole mood. I felt great! I felt closer to the

Lord than ever. I read my scriptures for A WHOLE HOUR WITHOUT

STOPPING ONCE! it was absolutely awesome. Before I went to bed I

prayed again, and thanked my Heavenly Father for comforting me.

I fell asleep fast and had a great night sleep. Whoever left those

flowers and cd for me, changed my whole outlook. I haven't had a

bad day since. I never had such a bad day in my life, then at the end

of the day when I turned to the Lord and prayed I was comforted.

I'm so thankful for that and I just had to share that with you :]

I share this story not to boast, but to illustrate how the Lord works through us. If we love the people around us and are in tune with the Spirit, miracles do happen.

I testify that God is real. He loves us, and when we really understand that, we can love others better and make a real difference in their lives.