Where to start...?
I guess a good place is at the beginning.
Last year, in June 2015, my family had a giant family reunion. We rented a cabin close to Tahoe and my entire immediate family came! My parents, all seven of us kids, and all of the grandkids, plus Jeff Otero, of course. We spent an entire week together playing and eating and having special events every night. One night we did a talent show, another night we talked about some of our ancestors. It was an amazing week, especially since this was the first time we had ever done anything like it. We are blessed to have a family who loves each other and the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Fast forward a month to July 21st, my birthday. I woke up and ate some breakfast. I took out my birth control pill and stuck it on my tongue. Joe very insistently said, "Wait!" I looked at him like he was a little crazy and stuck out my tongue as if to say, "What? You want me to wait to take my birth control? Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" He then plucked the pill from my mouth, threw it in the garbage, and said, "Happy birthday." I was so shocked and happy! We were going to have another baby!
We got pregnant within a month and at my first doctor's appointment they did an ultrasound, which I was not expecting. Joe wasn't with me at that appointment, so I decided to take a video of the ultrasound for him. I caught the technician say, "Looks like a twin pregnancy!"
I was shocked to say the least. I started crying a little in the doctor's office. I had never ever considered the possibility of having twins. I didn't want twins. Twins were something that happened to other people, not us! I always told Joe we would take one baby at a time. Now he lovingly tells everyone that I lied to him.
The only person I told about my pregnancy, besides Joe, was my sister, Barbara. When I was about 9 weeks pregnant my father was diagnosed with Leukemia. That was a hard day for everyone. A bunch of my family was in California with my parents that evening and Barbara encouraged me to tell my family about the pregnancy. I trusted her judgement, since I couldn't get a feel for the dynamics in the room. She said some good news would be well received on such a sad day. So I told the whole family, and everyone was very happy for us. I'm glad I could provide good news on that day.
My pregnancy was great! I was still very active up until the end. I was stressed out about the birth, because I wanted to have a vaginal delivery so badly, but in the end Baby A was breech, so that decision was taken out of my hands. I had a scheduled cesarean on 4/15/16 (the best birth date ever, right? I figured if I had to schedule what day my babies were being born I might as well pick the coolest date.) About a month or so before the birth I remember feeling overwhelmed at the thought of having to take care of two babies. I prayed and felt the babies tell me, "Everything is going to be okay, Mom. We are going to help you." That impression really comforted me, and it still comforts me to this day. These girls are my little helpers.
The night before I gave birth I Face Timed my parents. It was one of the last times I talked with my father. I asked for advice and he said, "I can't give you any advice. You are a beautiful, strong young woman, and your mother has taught you well. You can't imagine what your future holds." He also said that he was sad he couldn't be here with me in this momentous part of my life. I told him that I wished I could be there with him, too. He said that I'm doing the most important work that anyone can do. It was so nice to hear him say that he loves me and see his face as he said it. I knew that he loved me, but there's a big different between knowing it and hearing someone say it to your face.
On the morning of my cesarean I went in and started that lovely day with the nurses poking my arms several times trying to get at my "rolly polly" veins. It doesn't sound that bad, but it was. I fervently prayed that they would find a good vein and they finally did! Then the anesthesiologist came in and gave me an epidural, which I had chosen in place of a spinal tap. That man was amazing. Out of the entire staff during my stay at the hospital he impressed me the most. He was calm and confident, and helped me to feel informed about what was going on every step of the way, and was very attentive to my needs. Unfortunately the epidural gave me terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad shakes. The entire top half of my body was convulsing like I was having seizures. I remember having this problem when I gave birth to my first daughter, but it was way worse with the cesarean, probably because I was so freaked out, and it was a much higher dose.
My sweet husband was by my side the entire time reminding me to breathe, which I was sincerely grateful for! While the doctors were cutting me open I couldn't feel anything except pressure. Even though I didn't feel pain I knew what they were doing and so I cried tears of fear and anxiety. I asked Joe to sing the hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour," which he did. He also sang, "Where Can I Turn for Peace." That helped. By then we heard a sweet cry letting us know that Baby A had been delivered. That was at 10:00 am. One minute later we heard another sweet cry from Baby B. My tears of terror turned into tears of joy and relief. I really hope I never have to experience a cesarean again, but ultimately my babies are here and safe and that's all that matters.
The babies were both 4 pounds 9 ounces when they were born. One was 16 inches, the other was 16.5. Right when we first looked at them we knew they were not identical. They look different and thankfully it's easy to tell them apart. The problem is we still didn't have names for them! The next morning in the hospital a phlebotomist came in to take some blood. He said that his wife was pregnant with their fifth child, a girl. They had already chosen three names, and would narrow it down from there. He told me the names, and the only one I remember is Ember Lily. I thought Ember was such a great name that I told Joe later that day. He liked it, too! I read the list of girl names I had chosen several times and one stuck out for Joe, which is Sky. We didn't finalize the names until right before we left the hospital. We had first names, but what about middle names?! With Parker we agonized over middle names that began with the letter J so that we could call her PJ if we wanted (which btw we have never done...). I really loved the name Jubilee, so I chose that for Sky's middle name. I asked Joe if we wanted to go with all J middle names. I still had a list of J names in my notes app on my phone, and the last name on the list was Jo. I thought it would be so neat for one of the girls to have Joe's name. He said he was extremely uncomfortable naming one of our children after himself unless perhaps one of them had my name also. We decided on Ember Jo and Sky Indy, both middle names taking our nicknames with one letter missing. I still like Jubilee, but choosing these names just felt right.
I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital. The nurses took great care of me, and I was able to get some good sleep at night between feedings. I also did a lot of skin to skin time, which was really healing. For several days after their birth I felt euphoric. I was so happy we had these babies that nothing could ruffle that joy. I remember having the thought, "I'm so happy I want ten more babies!" That euphoria was so wonderful. I felt like it was a little slice of heaven, and not in some mystical intangible way. I really feel like it was the same sweetness and love I felt with people I loved before I was born. If this is the same sweetness my Dad is experiencing now then he is a very very happy man.
Our two year old loves her baby sisters, but has a hard time obeying when we tell her not to touch the babies, or squish them, or hit them, or give them things when they're sleeping. Playing with babies is just so tempting. It's a work in progress.
Oh, PS: my sister, Autumn came out a week before the babies were born, and has seriously been a life saver. I really don't know what we would do without her. She has fed us, cleaned our home, gone grocery shopping, played with Parker, set up the nursery, stayed up late with the babies, woken up early with Parker, and even wakes up in the middle of the night some times to help me when both babies are awake and crying of hunger. Talk about selfless service. God knew what we needed and sent Autumn to be the angel who met those needs. Today is Mother's Day and it was a little hard for Autumn. I had the distinct impression that she is an amazing mother. Yes, I have given birth to three beautiful girls, but Autumn has nurtured them just as much as me this past month, and she has nurtured me and Joe too!
When the babies were born I felt like I was experiencing the opposite of what my parents were struggling with in California. I had these sweet teeny babies who were sent from our Father in Heaven. They were just starting their mortal journey. I could imagine the struggles and joys they might have as they grow up. They're just starting out! My father, on the other hand, was at the end of his mortal journey. He had experienced a rich life of marriage, family, and selfless service. He had developed a firm testimony that was unshakable. My girls are never going to know him in this life, but I hope that I can instill in them many things that he taught me.
He never complained. I literally have never heard my Dad utter unkind words about anybody, or even struggles that he had. He treated my mother like a queen, and said that all girl's are princesses. Whenever we would hear sad stories about parents treating their daughters unkindly he would say, "That's not how those girls should be treated. Their parents should be saying 'This girl is getting too pretty, we need to lock her in the tower!'" He treasured his family.
I had the pleasure of working for him for a few years after high school. I noticed that when he cared for his patients he often conversed with them about his children and their accomplishments. He was so proud of his children and we were on his mind often.
My Dad was an interesting man. He was very quiet and introspective at home, but when he got in front of a group of people he would come alive. He was an amazing teacher, public speaker, and leader. I never really understood who my Dad was until I went to Woodbadge with him. He had been on the staff for several years before he convinced my sister and I to come cook in the kitchen. Although I was busy in the kitchen there were many times I could slip away and hear him teach, lead discussions with the scouts, and act silly, as only scouters can. I got to meet the people that my Dad wanted to associate himself with. Those are some of the best people I've ever met. One poignant memory I have is when he debriefed the participants after they played "The Game of Life." The object of the game was to win all you can. You could either cooperate with everyone, and everyone would gain points, or you could backstab the other players and earn more points than them. In the end there were often hurt feelings, and it was my Dad's job to mediate. He talked about the Scout Law. A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent. These are not just nice sentiments. This is the law that my Dad lived his life by. He really was a trustworthy man. He was loyal to his wife and friends. He helped everyone who needed him, and sacrificed much his time and energy to do so. He was kind and friendly to everyone he met. He put other's needs often above his own. He was obedient to the commandments of God, and cheerfully submitted his will to the Father. Every time I talked with him at the end of his life he cheerfully said he was doing great and never complained about the hardships of dying.
Death may change some people, but not my Dad. He died exactly the same way he lived. Cheerfully, with faith, humility, and love for his family.
A few weeks before my father passed away he was reading in Isaiah and had a distinct impression that chapter 57, versus 1 and 2 applied directly to him. "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness."
The day my father passed from this life my mother prayed and received revelation from the Holy Ghost that thousands of people were there to greet him on the other side. I can only imagine the joyful reunions he is having.
Last year, just 11 months ago, no one knew he would leave us so soon, but I'm grateful for the memories we made as a family, and the selfless love he always showed us. Because of him I better understand who my Savior and Father in Heaven are.
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Monday, May 5, 2014
My Birth Story
I realized that I haven't told my birth story yet, and that I should.
This story starts about three years ago. We had been married for about two years and I was baby hungry!! My husband... was not. He would ask me, "Why do you want to have a baby?" Not in a condescending way, but seeking for a sincere answer. This shocked me at first, and the only reply I could muster was, "Because babies are cute." Which is true, but not the best answer, especially when making such a momentous decision. After a while I came up with better reasons. The best being that I feel like I was meant to be a mother. I loved that I had a bunch of siblings growing up. I can't imagine how empty my parents lives would be if they never had children or if they only had one or two. I am excited to teach children to be good people and to grow up to be honest and happy adults. I think that's a pretty good reason.
I prayed and prayed about it, my heart aching for a baby. Then one night as I prayed the Spirit distinctly answered me. Not in an audible voice, but a clear impression in my mind told me, "Don't worry. Be patient. You will have a baby soon enough. Not now, but soon enough."
I could have played the martyr and passive aggressively agreed to wait when I didn't want to, but I didn't. My husband's desire to wait became my own and I was given incredible peace. After my prayer was answered the "baby hungry" feelings went away. I trusted that we would have a baby when the time was right, for me, my husband, and the Lord.
Fast forward six months, I was in college and still had three or four semesters. If I wanted to graduate as fast as I could I knew that meant I would graduate one semester before my husband. I really enjoyed school and taking classes just for fun, and figured I could take one last semester of all fun classes, so that we could graduate together! It was an awesome plan. As I was signing up for classes for a new semester the Spirit again distinctly told me to graduate as fast as I could. I was kind of bummed out because I really wanted to take that "Writings of Isaiah" class by Terry B. Ball. I didn't know why I received that prompting, but I followed it and planned the rest of my classes out, so that I would graduate in April of 2013, not December.
Fast forward again, I had been praying for a while that when the time was right to have a baby that the Holy Ghost would prompt my husband. Mind you I did not tell him I was praying for that! It happened in February 2013, and I wrote in my journal, "A few days ago he told me he felt prompted to get ready for children! You don't know how happy that makes me!!!!!!!"
I graduated in April 2013 and we decided to try for a baby after that. What do you know, I got pregnant two months later! Here's the good part: After several weeks of "trying" and talking about the reality and responsibility of a child coming to our family we thought, "maybe we should wait a little longer... we don't even have heath insurance, what are we thinking?!" But I was already pregnant! God probably knew that if He didn't take advantage of the opportunity we would be tempted to wait longer than was best.
I told my dear husband that when I got pregnant he had to be happy about it. I was worried that the stress of responsibility would overcome him, but it didn't. He was extremely happy, and not just because I told him to. I am grateful for that. When I was 19 weeks pregnant my husband got a full time "big boy" job with incredible benefits, including medical insurance. We definitely attribute that blessing to God!
My pregnancy was AWESOME! I only had morning sickness for about five weeks and then it just magically went away! I ran my first 5k with my family when I was 20 weeks pregnant, and it was awesome! I actually didn't tell any of them I was pregnant until I showed up. I figured they would notice right away, but I was only slightly tubby, and they didn't want to be rude and assume anything. I told them and they freaked out, it was great.
The worst part about being pregnant was the last two months when I got acid reflux, painful swelling in my hands and feet at night, and by the end I was very uncomfortable sleeping on my sides. (We got a recliner on KSL and when it became unbearable to sleep on either side I slept in the chair. It saved me!!!) I feel extremely blessed. I know many women have it a lot worse.
When 38 weeks rolled around I was getting nervous and thought, "It could happen any time!" 39 weeks came and went, and then 40 weeks. My doctor set the induction date for Sunday May 23rd at 7pm, in case I hadn't gone into labor by then. I prayed and prayed that I would go into labor naturally, even if it was on Sunday morning!
Saturday came and we hung out with the Ashcrafts :) I had been having contractions, like I had every day for several weeks, so I didn't know if they were real or not. After our friends left my husband and I went on a 40 minute walk. In the book What to Expect When You're Expecting it says that if contractions stop during activity they're probably not real. During that 40 minute walk I felt great! No contractions... hooray.
My mom had been driving all that day from California, because one way or another I was going into the hospital the next day. When I told her that I had been having contractions, possibly real or not, she decided to drive the whole way instead of stopping for the night. She ended up arriving at midnight, and we stayed up until 1 am chatting. While we were talking the contractions got more intense and I knew these were the real things!
My husband and mother went to sleep... while I did not. I think that having Crohn's disease really prepared my for labor. The pain was surprisingly similar, and it felt familiar to deal with intense, oscillating pain. My water broke at 3 am and we arrived at the hospital at 5 am. (PS anybody in the Utah Valley- if you need an OB/hospital to give birth at I HIGHLY recommend Orem Community Hospital. I don't know how our birthing experience could have been any better.) I was admitted and got the epidural in soon thereafter.
Oh My Glorious epidural! After going through labor and having an epidural I don't understand why any woman would want to suffer through it without one. And if You do, more power to you, but I'm 150 gazillion times happy I got one.
Hitches in labor/delivery: I was feeling great, but my sweet girl had a few problems. With a little pitocin and a pre-delivery "bath" (because the nurse saw meconium with the fluids coming out), our baby's heart rate dropped dangerously low. Our super-incredible-best-nurse-ever, Jill, got dressed in scrubs in case they had to do an emergency C-Section. My husband freaked out at that point. I was in and out of consciousness because I was exhausted, but all he did for hours was sit and watch the screen monitoring my contractions and baby's heart rate. Her heart rate normalized while labor progressed. When I reached 10 cm Dr McCarter came in to deliver. He was the on call doctor, but was awesome! He said, "I was watching your contractions and the baby's heart rate on my phone during sacrament meeting."
I pushed for 10 minutes (thank you Bastian birthing hips!!) (and haha to the nurses that said I could be pushing for 2 hours!) and she was out! I felt like I was in a dream. Everything seemed surreal; the doctor suctioning her nose and mouth out; the pediatrician looking her over and wiping my meconium-encrusted child off; my husband pulling out his phone to take pictures with the most sincere awe-insipred expression I've ever seen. Then the nurse put my sweet darling baby on my bare chest, so I could snuggle her, just minutes after she was born. So crazy and wonderful!
As the pediatrician was wiping her off just after birth someone asked, "What color is her hair?" He quickly responded, "Green!" And after 20 minutes of being in the room with me, the doctor said, "I guess I'll go back for Priesthood now."
She was born on Sunday, March 23, 2014 at 10:55 am, 6 lb 2 oz, 18.5 inches long.
We later found out that the placenta had started to calcify. Her gestational age was 41 weeks, and she weighed only 6 lb 2 oz. That's the 4th percentile!! I am so grateful she was healthy at birth, despite the low heart rate scare, meconium, and failing placenta. We were so blessed.
Up until the baby was outside of my womb it was all about the pregnancy. Everything I was experiencing was to culminate in the delivery. I didn't really think about actually having to take care of a human child for forever after that. When she was born I thought, "this isn't the end, it's just the beginning!"
Now she's a month and a half and 10 pounds! We love her with all our hearts and are so blessed to have her in our family forever! As we look back on the years we have been married and what we've gone through, both of us are extremely grateful that we waited to have this sweet girl. I am grateful that God knew and knows both of us- our personalities, our individual/couple needs and wants, and the desires of our hearts, and that we did what was best for our family. I am not encouraging anyone to wait to have children. Some couples intentionally have a baby right off and that's right for them.
I just know having our daughter now is what's right and best for us.
I realized that I haven't told my birth story yet, and that I should.
This story starts about three years ago. We had been married for about two years and I was baby hungry!! My husband... was not. He would ask me, "Why do you want to have a baby?" Not in a condescending way, but seeking for a sincere answer. This shocked me at first, and the only reply I could muster was, "Because babies are cute." Which is true, but not the best answer, especially when making such a momentous decision. After a while I came up with better reasons. The best being that I feel like I was meant to be a mother. I loved that I had a bunch of siblings growing up. I can't imagine how empty my parents lives would be if they never had children or if they only had one or two. I am excited to teach children to be good people and to grow up to be honest and happy adults. I think that's a pretty good reason.
I prayed and prayed about it, my heart aching for a baby. Then one night as I prayed the Spirit distinctly answered me. Not in an audible voice, but a clear impression in my mind told me, "Don't worry. Be patient. You will have a baby soon enough. Not now, but soon enough."
I could have played the martyr and passive aggressively agreed to wait when I didn't want to, but I didn't. My husband's desire to wait became my own and I was given incredible peace. After my prayer was answered the "baby hungry" feelings went away. I trusted that we would have a baby when the time was right, for me, my husband, and the Lord.
Fast forward six months, I was in college and still had three or four semesters. If I wanted to graduate as fast as I could I knew that meant I would graduate one semester before my husband. I really enjoyed school and taking classes just for fun, and figured I could take one last semester of all fun classes, so that we could graduate together! It was an awesome plan. As I was signing up for classes for a new semester the Spirit again distinctly told me to graduate as fast as I could. I was kind of bummed out because I really wanted to take that "Writings of Isaiah" class by Terry B. Ball. I didn't know why I received that prompting, but I followed it and planned the rest of my classes out, so that I would graduate in April of 2013, not December.
Fast forward again, I had been praying for a while that when the time was right to have a baby that the Holy Ghost would prompt my husband. Mind you I did not tell him I was praying for that! It happened in February 2013, and I wrote in my journal, "A few days ago he told me he felt prompted to get ready for children! You don't know how happy that makes me!!!!!!!"
I graduated in April 2013 and we decided to try for a baby after that. What do you know, I got pregnant two months later! Here's the good part: After several weeks of "trying" and talking about the reality and responsibility of a child coming to our family we thought, "maybe we should wait a little longer... we don't even have heath insurance, what are we thinking?!" But I was already pregnant! God probably knew that if He didn't take advantage of the opportunity we would be tempted to wait longer than was best.
I told my dear husband that when I got pregnant he had to be happy about it. I was worried that the stress of responsibility would overcome him, but it didn't. He was extremely happy, and not just because I told him to. I am grateful for that. When I was 19 weeks pregnant my husband got a full time "big boy" job with incredible benefits, including medical insurance. We definitely attribute that blessing to God!
My pregnancy was AWESOME! I only had morning sickness for about five weeks and then it just magically went away! I ran my first 5k with my family when I was 20 weeks pregnant, and it was awesome! I actually didn't tell any of them I was pregnant until I showed up. I figured they would notice right away, but I was only slightly tubby, and they didn't want to be rude and assume anything. I told them and they freaked out, it was great.
The worst part about being pregnant was the last two months when I got acid reflux, painful swelling in my hands and feet at night, and by the end I was very uncomfortable sleeping on my sides. (We got a recliner on KSL and when it became unbearable to sleep on either side I slept in the chair. It saved me!!!) I feel extremely blessed. I know many women have it a lot worse.
When 38 weeks rolled around I was getting nervous and thought, "It could happen any time!" 39 weeks came and went, and then 40 weeks. My doctor set the induction date for Sunday May 23rd at 7pm, in case I hadn't gone into labor by then. I prayed and prayed that I would go into labor naturally, even if it was on Sunday morning!
Saturday came and we hung out with the Ashcrafts :) I had been having contractions, like I had every day for several weeks, so I didn't know if they were real or not. After our friends left my husband and I went on a 40 minute walk. In the book What to Expect When You're Expecting it says that if contractions stop during activity they're probably not real. During that 40 minute walk I felt great! No contractions... hooray.
My mom had been driving all that day from California, because one way or another I was going into the hospital the next day. When I told her that I had been having contractions, possibly real or not, she decided to drive the whole way instead of stopping for the night. She ended up arriving at midnight, and we stayed up until 1 am chatting. While we were talking the contractions got more intense and I knew these were the real things!
My husband and mother went to sleep... while I did not. I think that having Crohn's disease really prepared my for labor. The pain was surprisingly similar, and it felt familiar to deal with intense, oscillating pain. My water broke at 3 am and we arrived at the hospital at 5 am. (PS anybody in the Utah Valley- if you need an OB/hospital to give birth at I HIGHLY recommend Orem Community Hospital. I don't know how our birthing experience could have been any better.) I was admitted and got the epidural in soon thereafter.
Oh My Glorious epidural! After going through labor and having an epidural I don't understand why any woman would want to suffer through it without one. And if You do, more power to you, but I'm 150 gazillion times happy I got one.
Hitches in labor/delivery: I was feeling great, but my sweet girl had a few problems. With a little pitocin and a pre-delivery "bath" (because the nurse saw meconium with the fluids coming out), our baby's heart rate dropped dangerously low. Our super-incredible-best-nurse-ever, Jill, got dressed in scrubs in case they had to do an emergency C-Section. My husband freaked out at that point. I was in and out of consciousness because I was exhausted, but all he did for hours was sit and watch the screen monitoring my contractions and baby's heart rate. Her heart rate normalized while labor progressed. When I reached 10 cm Dr McCarter came in to deliver. He was the on call doctor, but was awesome! He said, "I was watching your contractions and the baby's heart rate on my phone during sacrament meeting."
I pushed for 10 minutes (thank you Bastian birthing hips!!) (and haha to the nurses that said I could be pushing for 2 hours!) and she was out! I felt like I was in a dream. Everything seemed surreal; the doctor suctioning her nose and mouth out; the pediatrician looking her over and wiping my meconium-encrusted child off; my husband pulling out his phone to take pictures with the most sincere awe-insipred expression I've ever seen. Then the nurse put my sweet darling baby on my bare chest, so I could snuggle her, just minutes after she was born. So crazy and wonderful!
As the pediatrician was wiping her off just after birth someone asked, "What color is her hair?" He quickly responded, "Green!" And after 20 minutes of being in the room with me, the doctor said, "I guess I'll go back for Priesthood now."
She was born on Sunday, March 23, 2014 at 10:55 am, 6 lb 2 oz, 18.5 inches long.
We later found out that the placenta had started to calcify. Her gestational age was 41 weeks, and she weighed only 6 lb 2 oz. That's the 4th percentile!! I am so grateful she was healthy at birth, despite the low heart rate scare, meconium, and failing placenta. We were so blessed.
Up until the baby was outside of my womb it was all about the pregnancy. Everything I was experiencing was to culminate in the delivery. I didn't really think about actually having to take care of a human child for forever after that. When she was born I thought, "this isn't the end, it's just the beginning!"
Now she's a month and a half and 10 pounds! We love her with all our hearts and are so blessed to have her in our family forever! As we look back on the years we have been married and what we've gone through, both of us are extremely grateful that we waited to have this sweet girl. I am grateful that God knew and knows both of us- our personalities, our individual/couple needs and wants, and the desires of our hearts, and that we did what was best for our family. I am not encouraging anyone to wait to have children. Some couples intentionally have a baby right off and that's right for them.
I just know having our daughter now is what's right and best for us.
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