Being sick really puts things into perspective.
You know that post I did not too long ago about being Crohn's flare up free for ONE YEAR?! Well, that clock has now been reset as of three days ago.
When you're sick all you can do is eat, drink water, and sleep to get better (okay and watch Netflix, but that's besides the point). You can't go on walks or cook fancy food or do the dishes or do any of the normal daily activities, not to mention going out and having fun!
You realize: I must eat, drink, and sleep to survive right now. That's all that really matters.
Being sick is an excellent time to recall the symbolism between being physically and spiritually fed.
A few weeks ago I watched this Mormon Messages video:
You are more than welcome to watch it now :)
At the time I watched it I was struggling with the "I'm not good enough.. I need to do more.." pity party attitude, but this helped me a lot. I realized that I don't have to worry about what I did yesterday or what I'm going to do tomorrow. All I need to worry about is having a meaningful spiritual connection with God TODAY. And tomorrow I'll worry about tomorrow.
This flare up has been different than any other that I've ever had. Why? Because I have a baby and I feed her with my body. If I don't eat for several days, whether because my body rejects food or I'm recovering, I physically can not feed my baby! Do you know how frightening that is?
Elder Dallin H Oaks said:
"We know that our physical bodies require certain nutrients to sustain life and to maintain physical and mental health. If we are deprived of those nutrients, our physical and mental vitality are impaired and we have a condition called malnutrition. Malnutrition produces such symptoms as reduced mental functions, digestive disorders, loss of physical strength, and impairment of vision. Good nutrition is especially important for children, whose growing bodies are easily impaired if they lack the nutrients necessary for normal growth.
Our spirits also require nourishment. Just as there is food for the body, there is food for the spirit. The consequences of spiritual malnutrition are just as hurtful to our spiritual lives as physical malnutrition is to our physical bodies. Symptoms of spiritual malnutrition include reduced ability to digest spiritual food, reduced spiritual strength, and impairment of spiritual vision."
I can go two or three days without much food, but when you throw a baby into the mix, I can't go more than one, max!This experience has taught me the importance of, not only spiritual sustenance for myself, but spiritual preparation for my children.
I am reminded of my college classes where the first and second laws of thermodynamics were drilled into us:
1. Matter can not be created or destroyed
2. Because matter can not be created or destroyed, it is changed from one form to another, and when it does it loses energy, becoming less efficient. (This is why there would be a ton more food for people if everyone were vegetarian- you get a LOT less meat for how many plants that animal eats to produce it)
Anyways...
I eat food and drink water. My body processes that food and water, using energy to digest it and make it into something new: milk for my baby.
It's interesting to think that this same principle could apply spiritually. I have to consume a lot more of the gospel into my life and heart to be able to transfer it to my child, or anyone else for that matter.
And, as Elder Oaks said, spiritual sustenance is just as important as physical food!
This was a big mommy lesson for me this week. I hope I can live one day at a time and not worry about what I did yesterday or what I'll do tomorrow and that the word of God will continually be "delicious to me."
