Finding Meaning in Motherhood #1

A Spiritual Baby

It's crazy that Snuggle has only been with us for 5 months. I've learned a lot in 5 months, like how to change a diaper like a pro, how to breastfeed and use both hands to eat a pizza At The Same Time, that when I turn music on while my baby is screaming it will calm her down immediately, and that onesie dresses are the best baby dresses ever invented!

More than the practical things, though, are the glimpses I get into eternity from living every day life as a parent. I have gotten to know who God is much better, because He is our literal spiritual parent.

I'll start from the beginning.

When Snuggle Baby was a newborn she didn't know us yet, even though she was completely reliant on us for everything. We were with her constantly. I fed her, we changed her diaper, we bathed her, held her, sung to her, and took her to the doctor. Even though she got all of this attention she still didn't know us. All I could hope was that she felt loved and confident that her needs would be taken care of, and that some day she would recognize us and love us.

In our spiritual lives we all start out as babies, as utterly helpless and dependent as my precious daughter. God is there with us: feeding us, holding us, and protecting us from things that are completely beyond our comprehension. He knows that we don't know Him yet, but hopes that in time we will start to recognize His face and voice too (or, more appropriately, His spirit).

Our baby girl is 5 months old and she is a completely different baby now! She's gained a ton of weight, she smiles and giggles now, and is even scooting herself around on the floor. When we come to get her out of the crib in the morning she gives us a huge smile because, yes, she finally recognizes us and is happy to see us!

God wants us to grow spiritually. He wants us to trust Him and not stagnate (how horrible would that be for your baby to stop growing physically!! eek!)

This is only the beginning though. My baby is still a baby. She's learning and growing so much, but it is going to take years for her to grown into a toddler, then a child, then an adolescent, then a teenager, then a young adult, then an adult, then a middle aged adult, and then an elderly adult. At each stage we learn new things and get wiser.

If you are just a baby, spiritually speaking, there's nothing wrong with that. Allow God to take care of you and teach you. He will!

“I Have Given You An Example” 

Sacrament Meeting Talk 8/24/14

When I was in high school I had this really good friend named Matt. You could even say that we had been best friends. After a while we began to drift away from each other because of our separate interests. Matt eventually fell away from the church and that was pretty much the end of our relationship. I was hurt and didn’t know how to act around him any more. I invited him to a few young single adult activities, which he did not attend, and that was it. One time Matt’s mother told me that he was disappointed in me, and felt like I only wanted to be friends with him if he was an active member of the church. That pierced my heart, but honestly, by my actions it was true.

If this situation has happened to my husband, Joe (which it has), he wouldn’t have even thought twice about their decision affecting his friendship with them. He would have treated them completely normally like nothing had happened.

I am so grateful I married Joe and for his great example to me. If this situation with Matt happened today I would act very differently.

Elder Richard G Scott gave a talk in this last conference entitled “I have given you an example” (with quotes!). Usually titles are not in quotes, so I figured it came from a scripture, and I was right.  The verse is in John 13 and reads, “For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”

Looking at this scripture in context Jesus had just washed his disciples feet. He also alluded to the fact that someone would betray him.

Now let’s think about that for a minute. Jesus knew that Judas Iscariot was going to betray him, eventually causing his death, and yet Jesus still washed Judas’ feet, just like everyone else’s.

Although Jesus had not yet performed the atonement, one spiritual gift is the gift of discernment, or the gift to see within people’s hearts. I am pretty sure Christ had this gift, allowing Him to discern why Judas did what he did. When you know why someone acts the way they do, you can’t hate them. In fact, it is much easier to love them, even if you disagree with their actions.

The example that Jesus gave that Elder Scott references is love.  Pure Christ-like love, or charity. To me charity means having a love for people that leads us to help them without expectation of repayment.

I think the reason Jesus gave us examples of how to live and act and think and then told us to follow his examples, is that a lot of his teachings and examples do not come naturally to us.

What did he teach?

Selflessness, Humility, Forgiveness, Faith, and Charity

I a lot of instances our natural reactions are selfish, prideful, unforgiving, doubting, and hateful or apathetic.

I will venture to say that all of the attributes Christ exhibited are motivated by love.

One of Jesus’ teachings is “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt 5:44)

Jesus Christ didn’t just preach about loving people. He practiced what he preached.

And we have examples, not only from the scriptures, but all around us in our personal lives.

I remember when I was a first level in Girl’s Camp we had an activity where the leaders washed our feet, like the Savior washed his disciple’s feet. For whatever reason they forgot me. My feet were the only ones unwashed. I was a little shy and embarrassed about the whole situation so I didn’t say anything. I was disappointed and felt left out, even though I knew it wasn’t deliberate. Even though this is a sad story it taught me a great lesson. I have been able to pray and know that God loves me and He will never forget me. Because I have felt God’s love for me consistently throughout my life I trust Him. I have called on God for help in the past and He has always answered my prayers. Sometimes not in the way I wanted or anticipated, but always for the best.

In Proverbs it tells us to “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

God taught me a very important lesson several years ago through a series of three or four experiences I had. I’ll share two of the experiences I had.

In this first experience I lived in the bay area and my sister, Autumn, was coming in to the SF airport. I needed to pick her up, and because I was still a relatively new driver that freaked me out a little. Plus I had never driven there before, so that freaked me out too. And lastly, the car’s turn signal lights I was driving sometimes worked and sometimes didn’t work, so that freaked me out too!  As I started driving in bumper to bumper traffic the turn signals were not working. I prayed to Heavenly Father and said, “I need you to make these turn signals to work NOW! They are vital for this heavy of traffic. Please help me.” To illustrate my trust in Him I flipped on the turn signal, and he answered my prayer by making it work. The story doesn’t end here though, the turn signal worked up until the moment I picked up my sister, and then, after I felt emotionally strong with her in the car with me, it stopped working all the way home.

My next story is when I was a laurel in young womens. I was in charge of new beginnings, but I was incredibly sick. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in high school and struggled with my health a lot at that time. On the night of the meeting people help set up while I was in another room throwing up. I couldn’t stop. About 5 minutes before the meeting started, of which I was conducting, my father gave me a priesthood blessing telling me that I would be okay. After the blessing I threw up one more time in the trash can beside me, walked up and conducted the meeting. I felt great! This isn’t the end of the story either. Later that night I got sick again, resulting in an Emergency Room visit.

After pondering and praying about these experiences the lesson was clear. Heavenly Father was saying, “I’m here for you. I love you. I will help you in your time of need, but when your time of need is over, your trial will continue.” And that’s okay.

I have felt God’s love for me and Joe so much through our marriage, even when I feel we don’t deserve it.  I know that when I trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding I get the help that I need, and often the help I want too.

I have felt God’s love for me. I know that I am important to him. He loves me a lot! Knowing that He loves each of you as much as He loves me humbles me, and makes me love you more than I would on my own.

Here’s my last story for now:

When I was about 20 I became email buddies with one of the young women in my ward named Jessica. We would often write and share experiences we had with each other.

After a very hard and discouraging day at work I decided I needed to do something that cheered me up. I thought, “Hey, I’ll serve someone!” Although this was a selfish thought, I really did want to brighten someone else’s day. I got fresh flowers from the store and put them in a vase. I burned a CD and put Jessica’s name on the whole thing, then I doorbell ditched it.

She was also having a hard day and here is part of the email she sent me shortly after that.

I knelt at my bed and prayed. It was

the most strongest prayer I have ever prayed before. I asked the

Lord to help me and be with me. I asked him for comfort and his

love. Then a couple minutes later I came out of my room and was

going to join my family then there was a knock on my door. Out of

my dinning room window I saw someone running away. I was like

hmm this is wierd. Then I opened the door and there was a vase of

pink tullips and a cd case. I was like "Mom I think someone brought

you flowers." Then my sister was like "No, Jessica they are for you.

Look your name is right on it!" Then I looked and it was my name.

I took them to my room and I started to cry. It was not out of

sadness but it was just an overwhelming feeling that came over me.

I felt my heart lift up. I listen to the cd and there were beautiful

church songs on it!

   It totally changed my whole mood. I felt great! I felt closer to the

Lord than ever. I read my scriptures for A WHOLE HOUR WITHOUT

STOPPING ONCE! it was absolutely awesome. Before I went to bed I

prayed again, and thanked my Heavenly Father for comforting me.

I fell asleep fast and had a great night sleep. Whoever left those

flowers and cd for me, changed my whole outlook. I haven't had a

bad day since. I never had such a bad day in my life, then at the end

of the day when I turned to the Lord and prayed I was comforted.

I'm so thankful for that and I just had to share that with you :]

I share this story not to boast, but to illustrate how the Lord works through us. If we love the people around us and are in tune with the Spirit, miracles do happen.

I testify that God is real. He loves us, and when we really understand that, we can love others better and make a real difference in their lives.

Physical & Spiritual Sustenance


Being sick really puts things into perspective.

You know that post I did not too long ago about being Crohn's flare up free for ONE YEAR?! Well, that clock has now been reset as of three days ago.

When you're sick all you can do is eat, drink water, and sleep to get better (okay and watch Netflix, but that's besides the point). You can't go on walks or cook fancy food or do the dishes or do any of the normal daily activities, not to mention going out and having fun!

 You realize: I must eat, drink, and sleep to survive right now. That's all that really matters.

Being sick is an excellent time to recall the symbolism between being physically and spiritually fed.

A few weeks ago I watched this Mormon Messages video:

You are more than welcome to watch it now :)

At the time I watched it I was struggling with the "I'm not good enough.. I need to do more.." pity party attitude, but this helped me a lot. I realized that I don't have to worry about what I did yesterday or what I'm going to do tomorrow. All I need to worry about is having a meaningful spiritual connection with God TODAY. And tomorrow I'll worry about tomorrow. 

This flare up has been different than any other that I've ever had. Why? Because I have a baby and I feed her with my body. If I don't eat for several days, whether because my body rejects food or I'm recovering, I physically can not feed my baby! Do you know how frightening that is?

Elder Dallin H Oaks said: 

"We know that our physical bodies require certain nutrients to sustain life and to maintain physical and mental health. If we are deprived of those nutrients, our physical and mental vitality are impaired and we have a condition called malnutrition. Malnutrition produces such symptoms as reduced mental functions, digestive disorders, loss of physical strength, and impairment of vision. Good nutrition is especially important for children, whose growing bodies are easily impaired if they lack the nutrients necessary for normal growth.

Our spirits also require nourishment. Just as there is food for the body, there is food for the spirit. The consequences of spiritual malnutrition are just as hurtful to our spiritual lives as physical malnutrition is to our physical bodies. Symptoms of spiritual malnutrition include reduced ability to digest spiritual food, reduced spiritual strength, and impairment of spiritual vision."

I can go two or three days without much food, but when you throw a baby into the mix, I can't go more than one, max!

This experience has taught me the importance of, not only spiritual sustenance for myself, but spiritual preparation for my children.

                                                             



I am reminded of my college classes where the first and second laws of thermodynamics were drilled into us:

1. Matter can not be created or destroyed
2. Because matter can not be created or destroyed, it is changed from one form to another, and when it does it loses energy, becoming less efficient. (This is why there would be a ton more food for people if everyone were vegetarian- you get a LOT less meat for how many plants that animal eats to produce it)

Anyways...

I eat food and drink water. My body processes that food and water, using energy to digest it and make it into something new: milk for my baby.

It's interesting to think that this same principle could apply spiritually. I have to consume a lot more of the gospel into my life and heart to be able to transfer it to my child, or anyone else for that matter.

And, as Elder Oaks said, spiritual sustenance is just as important as physical food!

This was a big mommy lesson for me this week. I hope I can live one day at a time and not worry about what I did yesterday or what I'll do tomorrow and that the word of God will continually be "delicious to me."


                                             
                                                                                                       

Annual Meal Planning

That's right, I said ANNUAL.

If you're anything like me you have a hard time meal planning. Coming up with meals that sound good to eat each week can be so frustrating! Plus, my husband and I are somewhat picky, in that we dislike eating the same meals frequently even if we really like them. This got me thinking a couple weeks ago, and thus the annual meal plan was born!

I started by making a list of all the meals we enjoy eating. I looked at my Pinterest boards to see what meals we tried and liked (I ended up creating a new board for "Tried and True Meals" which saves me from scrolling as much!) (I also have a "Tried and True Sides and Snacks" board, and "Tried and True Sweets" FYI). I also looked through family recipe books and other random places to recall meals we don't eat frequently. but like nonetheless.  

I stuck the recipes all into this spread sheet and then decided how often we would realistically like to eat them. Once a month would be 12, Every other month is 6, and so on... 

Meal Ideas	How Many Times Per Year
Thai Peanut Curry Stir Fry	6
Breaded Chicken Alfredo Sauce Pasta	12
Homemade Pizza	12
Dry BBQ Rub Chicken & Veggies	3
Enchiladas	4
Quiche	12
Easy Enchilada Noodle Bake	4
Tuna Casserole	4
Breakfast For Dinner	12
Ridiculous Salad	34
Crunch Wraps	6
Mexi Chicken Tacos (P)	4
Carbonara	3
Lasagna	3
Chicken Cordon Bleu	3
Easy Sesame Chicken (P)	4
Sweet & Sour Meatballs & Rice	4
Homemade Cafe Rio	2
Homemade Burgers	4
Red Curry	4
Indian Butter Chicken	4
Chagraple Sandwich	6
BLT	4
PW Meatball Marinara Sliders	2
Corned Beef & Cabbage	1
Million $ Spaghetti	2
Loaded Baked Potatoes	3
Sloppy Joes	1
Crepes	4
Braided Stromboli	2
Mom's BBQ Meatballs	1
Mom's Tomato Pork Chops	1
Garbanzo Bean Pasta	4
Spicy Cauliflour Stir Fry (PW)	2
Bruchetta w/ Leeks, Goat Cheese & Bacon (PW)	1
Chicken Pot Pie	2
Broccoli Wild Rice Casserole	2
Chicken Pad Thai (P)	3
Taco Salad	2
Red Curry Lentils (P)	1
Baked Teryaki Chicken	2
Barley Leek Soup	2
Zupa's Garden Chowder	2
Garlic Bean Soup	2
Chicken Noodle Soup	2
White Chicken Chili	2
Lentil Soup	2
Chicken Tortilla Soup w/Fritos	2
Pasta e Fagioli	2
Lamb Veggie Soup	2
Total Meals Planned	208
Goal for 4 days/week	208

The only meal I have planned for more than once a month is salad, because it's good for you... I mean me... I mean us.

The recipes in red are ones that I've never tried before or that I want to tweak. The ones in blue are soups/stews. I really love soup, but my husband doesn't so much. I wanted them all lumped together in the master list so that when I plugged them into the calendar I wouldn't have more than 2 soups planned for one month. The recipes with a (P) next to it means it's from Pinterest, and the (PW) means it's from http://thepioneerwoman.com. 

Which brings me to the next step: Plugging all the meals in a calender. I did this in the same spreadsheet, just to the right of the master list.  Since every month has a different amount of days in it I went through a calender to see exactly how many meals I would need. For example July has 31 days, so for 4 meals per week (M-Th) I would need to plan 19 meals. But in August, using the same method, I only need to plan 16 meals. 

I started by putting in the meals we wanted to eat every month- that's easy. Then I spaced the others out evenly (or as evenly as I could) according to how many times we would eat them in a year. I was also season-conscious. I put heartier meals in the winter months and more salads in the summer.

I planned for 4 meals a week. I originally wanted to do 5, but once I started this process I realized it was unrealistic. What do we do the other 3 days/week? Eat leftovers, easy meals such as quesadillas or mac & cheese, go out to eat, or eat at a friend's house. 

Here's what mine looks like:

July (19)	Aug (16)
Breaded Chicken Alfredo Sauce Pasta	Breaded Chicken Alfredo Sauce Pasta
Homemade Pizza	Homemade Pizza
Quiche	Quiche
Breakfast For Dinner	Breakfast For Dinner
Ridiculous Salad	Ridiculous Salad
Ridiculous Salad	Ridiculous Salad
Ridiculous Salad	Ridiculous Salad
Ridiculous Salad	Ridiculous Salad
Thai Peanut Curry Stir Fry	Crunch Wraps
Chagraple Sandwich	Easy Enchilada Noodle Bake
Tuna Casserole	Sweet & Sour Meatballs & Rice
Mexi Chicken Tacos (P)	Bruchetta w/ Leeks, Goat Cheese & Bacon (PW)
Homemade Burgers	Garbanzo Bean Pasta
BLT	Carbonara
Loaded Baked Potatoes	Braided Stromboli
Taco Salad	Lentil Soup
Chicken Tortilla Soup w/Fritos
Red Curry
Spicy Cauliflour Stir Fry (PW)
Dried Fruit	Mango Sticky Rice
Fruit Leather

At the bottom of every month I put a treat or dessert I want to make so that I can plan for special ingredients and we won't have the same boring chocolate chip cookies all the time (okay, okay chocolate chip cookies are delicious and never boring). 

Meal planning is not non-existent because I did this, it just takes all the stress out of it! Every week I pick 4 meals I want to make from that month's list and then all I have to do is figure out which ingredients I need!

I love the flexibility of the whole plan. I am so grateful I did this, because now meal planning is easy peasy! I also love it because it helps me figure out what I need for food storage. I can stock up on items we eat frequently when they come on sale, because I know what we're eating!

The whole things is just lovely to me. If you're anything like me I highly recommend trying it, although be aware that I took me about 6 hours to bust it all out. I think it's worth it though. 6 hours once versus agonizing hours every week is just fine with me.

                

Surviving a Sick Baby

                                                

Step 1: Don't let your baby get sick

Step 2: Pretend like your baby isn't sick on the first day

Step 3: Get angry that your baby is sick

Step 4: Ask God "Please, if you help my baby to get better I swear I'll read my scriptures more!"

Step 5: Spend the next day watching Netflix and eating chocolate while you worry that your happy baby is never coming back.

Step 6: Accept that your baby is sick and this is just a part of life that we have to deal with now.


Hehe. Okay, maybe I'm being overly dramatic here, but this week has been HARD! I haven't slept much and the sleep I do get on the couch puts a terrible crick in my neck and back that hurts so bad.

I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay. *sigh*


                                                                     


Here's what really got me through this week:

Call the Midwife (on Netflix)
OH MAN. This show is so great, but watching it while my baby has been sick has made me so much more grateful for her in my life and the circumstances in which she came into this world. I have had more compassion on her while watching it. I'm done with the first season and I'm contemplating waiting until she's sick again to watch the second (but of course I'm not going to).

Thinking/Reading about my friends struggles

I have friends who can't have babies, who struggle with getting pregnant, who have lost babies, and whose babies are born very premature.

When I think what they have gone through and what I'm going through now (losing a little sleep to take care of my otherwise perfect little girl), my heart is only filled with gratitude and love for what I have. It helps me to be more patient and kind.

Thinking about my baby

This is her first time being sick and while it's not fun for me, it's certainly not fun for her either. It helps me to remember that the only way she can communicate when she is sick or in pain or uncomfortable is to cry. I shouldn't take it personally. She is not crying AT me, she is crying because of her circumstances. If I were in her shoes how would I want to be taken care of? Getting angry solves absolutely nothing. Being kind and compassionate helps your mental health and your baby's.


That's it for now. I need to take a shower.


                                               

Best Baby Shower Gifts

Here we go! I've been thinking about this post for a while. Since I had my baby baby I've been able to appreciate some baby products better than others, and I thought I would share my vast 2 1/2 months of knowledge with you. If you are looking for a great baby shower gift or if you are a new mom and want to know the best baby products to get, look no further! (okay, I guess you can look on Pinterest too, this is by no means an all-inclusive list)

Baby Clothes

#1 Rule: BE SEASON CONSCIOUS!! Those little babies are going to grow out of their clothes within a couple months, so if you get a super fuzzy, adorable sleeper for a baby born in the summer that baby won't even wear it. And that's a shame. (As a side note: even though they grow out of clothes so fast, you gotta clothe your child, so clothes really are appreciated. ESPECIALLY if you get a range of sizes!)

That being said, Pants with Feet are one of my favorite pieces of clothing! No need to mess with finicky socks? I'm there! I wish I had them in every size.

                                                         

Newborn onesies with hand covers are awesome.

                                                                    

For baby girls: Onesie dresses are bom diggidy! They're not just cute, they're super practical too!

                                                          

I actually made this onesie dress (below) for my baby girl's blessing dress. I got a super pretty onesie from Target and then just sewed on a skirt! The bow is actually a headband that I felt was a little too big for her head, but PERFECT for the accent on the dress!

Here's how I did it:
1. Get 1/4 Yard of fabric for the skirt
2. Sew the hem of the skirt first (I did it by folding the fabric over twice)
3. Baste Stitch the skirt on the other long end and pull the strings so you get a nice gather.
3. Sew the short ends together so you have a tube (the skirt)
4. Pin that sucker down to the onesie and sew it on.
5. Enjoy your marvelous creation!

                      

Not for the faint of heart: onesie extenders. Okay, perhaps I'm being over dramatic.
I haven't gotten any, but I wish I had some. The only problem is that all onesies are not created equal. Some have two snaps and some have three. Some three snapped onesies are spaced differently than others...
In my experience onesies stop fitting because they get too short. They fabric can always stretch out but not down. It would sure be nice to get some extra life out of onesies, so if you want to do some research and extenders for a friend, I'm sure they would appreciate it.

                                                             



Kits and Other Fun DIY gifts

Diaper Kit

I don't know about other moms, but I like to try EVERY brand. I want to figure out what I like best. (And honestly right now the Target Brand, Up & Up, is winning) If you got a bunch of different brands of diapers and made a little kit out of it, that would be an awesome gift! AND you wouldn't even have to take them out of the packaging, in fact I would recommend getting the smallest packages (10-20 diapers) and Not taking them out of the packaging.

Here are some brands to choose from:
Pampers
Huggies
Up & Up (Target)
Parent's Choice (Walmart)
Luvs
Costco brand (although you'd have to get a big pack)
There are a bunch of "natural" diapers, it would be fun to try them out
And if would be pretty awesome to get a cloth diaper for a mom interested, but not sure if she wants to do it.

                           



Diaper Ointment Kit

This is the same idea. I want to try every diaper ointment out there!!
I think these are the most popular. There are Lots more, though.

Brands:
Maximum Strength Desitin (it's gotta be Max)
Aquaphor
A&D
Triple Paste
Resinol
Burts Bees
Bordeaux's Butt Paste
Calmoseptine (this is what the Pediatrician gave me samples of)
Clotrimazole Anti-Fungal Cream (for yeast rashes- this has saved me!)


                                             


Burp Cloths

 I forgot about them when I was pregnant, and I am so grateful for the ladies who gave them to me as gifts! I use them ALL THE TIME. You could hand make them, or I know lots of moms just like using cloth diapers as burp cloths. The ones I got that I like the best have a flannel side and a terry cloth side (like a dish towel)! Super absorbent.

                                                
                                                                             These are the cloth diapers
   
                                                
                                                                             Terry Cloth Burp Cloths


Custom Onesies (Yes I made these)

If you really want to get crafty and personal you could make some super cute custom onesies! I did it with "Wonder Under Transfer Web." I got mine at Walmart for super uber cheep. You know how something is easy, but when you try to explain it, it sounds really complicated? I feel like that's how this is. Here's an okay tutorial, but its seriously easier than it looks. There are clear instructions when you purchase the Wonder Under.

If your friends have something quirky and unique about them, this is a really fun idea! (Thus the skull and crossbones on a onesie)


Books

Baby Food Books
I want to get some books on how to make baby food and, probably more importantly, teaches me when certain foods are okay to be introduced into baby's diet! Here are a few books that interest me. They all got really good reviews on Amazon.

Cooking for Baby: Wholesome, Homemade, Delicious Foods for 6 to 18 Months

                                                                

The Baby and Toddler Cookbook: Fresh, Homemade Foods for a Healthy Start

                                                                

                                                Super Baby Food

                                                                    

Baby Books
I got a few baby books at my showers, and I am so grateful! My favorite one to read to her is:
                                                             

I have a very small collection, and I really don't know of many great kids books, so you'll have to do your homework, but this would be a great gift as well!


I hope this helps give you some great baby shower ideas. And if it didn't you could always get something off the registry! (chuckle chuckle... nobody gets stuff off the registry. WHY IS THAT?!)